Wow, it’s so unreal for me to think about everything that’s been going on in life lately. How much of a blessing it has been. It’s starting to become a battle inside myself to not become spiritually lazy because I don’t want this to fade away. When I look back on certain times in my life I would have done anything if I had known that there was to be a point like this.
It’s crazy how everything is falling together. The interview yesterday for the RA position went so well, I’ll hear on Monday if I got the position or not, if I did I’d actually be moving next week before I leave for East Asia (OEX). It’s super weird to think about. I could come back to campus after thanksgiving break, living in a new room, new floor, new hall, yet still have all the same classes. As much as I front that I’m ready for it I’m actually quite scared and nervous about it. I’m scared that I’ll loose my friends down here, that it will be a constant battle up there (though I am anticipating it to be? I just pray that I would reach some level of comfort there), that it could be more then I can handle, and if I keep thinking about it this list would keep getting longer. I just have this gut feeling that in this I’m being obedient to God in doing this, I know that every time I’ve stepped out for Him I’ve been met in greater ways then I ever could have dreamt.
The most recent major way I stepped out was with France, since then I’ve just been so blessed by that chance to live for the Lord. I’m not saying that I take every opportunity to do something because I think it could be some way to be blessed (though to some it might appear that way), a lot of prayer has gone into all of it. Stepping out in prayer has also been unreal, watching prayers be answered all over the place. Asking my father to bless those around me and to refine my heart has never been more fruitful in my life. All semester I’ve been praying for the bible study up in wigen, for more strong Christian men to be raised up there who will labor for the Lord… Then I got asked to be an RA before the semester is even done. Then the interview went amazingly well.
There is something different this time around, I’ve yet to let my guard down, or I guess you could look at it as me trying to keep it down. Lately I’ve been starting to study spiritual warfare more and it’s really been pressed on me the importance of constantly becoming nothing and being broken down before the Lord. That the areas of my life that are hardened or even hardening need to be shattered so that his light can re-enter into them. That’s where I?m at I guess, trying to keep my focus on the Lord, giving him all the praise. It’s so hard to take sometimes, I want to just relax and enjoy these blessings but I know that I have to keep pressing onward and be continually becoming nothing so that God must continue to bless me. I pray that all you who read this be bold in your faith.
Seeking less of me and more of Him,
~paul